Getting Back Together
Making the Most of a Second Chance at Love
Take The Relationship Slow
When you are first getting back together, it makes sense to take the relationship slow. When you broke up, one or both of you were willing to walk away from the relationship. This may have resulted in bruised egos and wounded hearts. Although it is understandable to be thrilled that you are back together, donít minimize the hurt of the break up by acting like nothing happened.
The road back to a renewed relationship will take time, patience, understanding and commitment. Making a break up and getting back together easy invites a continuing chaotic relationship. You should take some time to slowly rebuild the relationship. This allows you time to heal from the hurt of the break up and reestablish trust in the relationship.
Thoughtfully Consider What Brought About The Relationship Break Up
There is probably no point in getting back together after a break up if nothing is going to change. When you get back together after a break up, you should thoughtfully consider what brought about the failure of the relationship. Give the relationship a hard-nosed assessment. Some questions to consider are:
- Where there pressures building in the relationship?
- How can those pressures be better addressed in the future?
- What mistakes were made the first time around?
- How can these mistakes be avoided in the future?
- What was your contribution to the relationship break up?
- Are you both trying to make the relationship work?
- Are you and your partner accepting responsibility to participate in improving the relationship?
After you both have had time to thoughtfully consider why the relationship failed the first time around, have a heart-to-heart talk about how the two of you are going to make the relationship work. If you are having a tough time working through your issues as a couple, it might be worthwhile to consider going to coupleís counseling. Coupleís counseling can help guide you as you explore the unresolved issues in your relationship.
Take Action To Make The Relationship Work
After going through the pain and disappointment of a relationship break up, donít squander your second chance by taking the relationship for granted. Use the lessons you learned from the break up to improve the relationship going forward. Thoughtfully consider these questions:
- How can I better express my love and appreciation to my partner?
- How can I be more loving and attentive toward my partner?
- How can I be more sensitive to the needs of my partner.
- Am I making enough time for my partner?
- How can we make the most of our free time together?
- Have I openly and freely expressed my happiness with being back together again to my partner?
- How can I help further develop our relationship?
- How can I improve the communication with my partner?
- How can we work together as a team to achieve our mutual goals?
- How can I help my partner achieve their goals?
- How can I be more flexible and accommodating toward my partner?
- How can I be more thoughtful and considerate toward my partner?
Getting back together after a break up gives you a second chance at love with your partner. Making your renewed relationship successful will involve taking the time to thoughtfully considering the past shortcomings of the relationship and taking the actions necessary to overcome them.