Online Dating - Talking To A Man For The First Time
Meeting new men online can be exciting and fun, but ultimately you want to meet them in person. Your first phone call with an online match may decide if the relationship moves forward or ends. Take the time to prepare for a successful first phone call.
Get A Calling Card
There is a good possibility that you will end up communicating with men that are outside your local calling area. Local toll calls can be quite expensive. A way around this is to get a calling card. Costco has a calling card for 2.9 cents a minute, for local and long distance calls. This compares to 10+ cents a minute from your local phone company.
Ask For His Phone Number
In order to preserve your privacy, do not give out your phone number to your online matches. When you are ready to talk on the phone with your online match, let him know in an e-mail. Say that you don't give out your number, but if he trusts you with his phone number, you would enjoy talking with him on the phone. If a man absolutely insists on calling you, close out the match. He does not respect your need to feel safe and secure.
Ask Him When Is A Good Time To Call
When one of your online matches gives you his phone number, write him back and thank him. Tell him that you are looking forward to talking with him and ask him when would be a good time to call. When you receive his response, e-mail him back with the approximate time you will call him.
Before you call your online match on the phone, review his profile and your correspondence with him. Use the information from his profile and your correspondence to come up with a few conversation topics. Write down four or five friendly questions that you would like to ask him. Should the conversation drag or you get a little flustered, you can use one of your questions to help get the conversation back on track.
If you enter *67 before dialing a telephone number, it will block your name and phone number from coming up on a caller ID unit.
Give Him Your Undivided Attention
When it comes time to call your online match, try to minimize your distractions. Don't call him from your cell phone while you are driving. Don't call him from your home while you are doing the dishes. Your match deserves your undivided attention. Since you are calling him, try to be understanding if you catch him in the middle of something and he is a bit distracted for a few moments.
Call Him From A Good Phone
Try to avoid using a cell phone or cordless phone to call your online match if you don't have good reception. Your match has been waiting a while to talk to you and he would probably prefer not having to struggle to hear what you have to say.
Keep The First Telephone Call Short
Try to limit your first telephone conversation to 15 minutes. The conversation will be long enough to get to know one another a little bit, but hopefully not long enough for either one of you to get bored. You are much better off having a call be 30 minutes too short rather than 5 minutes too long. Your goal should be to leave him waiting more.
Ask Him If You Can Call Him Later
When you are ready to wrap up your first phone call, tell him you have really enjoyed talking with him. Tell him you have a few errands that you need to take care of and ask if you can call him later. This gives both of you a chance to think about your phone call and an opportunity to look forward to the next. This will also let him know of your continuing interest in him.
Send An E-Mail After Your First Phone Call
If you had a successful first phone call, before you go to bed, send him a short e-mail saying that you enjoyed talking with him. This accomplishes several things:
- It lets him know that you are still interested in getting to know him.
- In terms of the next communication, it puts the ball in his court.
- His response will give you a sense of his level of interest.
- It is a great way to encourage him to pursue you.
Find Out About Your Match
Use the phone calls to try to lay the groundwork for meeting your online match in person. What type of food does he like? What activities does he enjoy? You can use this information to help you select the venue for your first meeting and give you ideas you can suggest as possible future dates.
The success or failure of your first phone call may be decided before anyone picks up the phone. Taking the time to prepare will give you the best chance for a great first phone call.