eHarmony - Before You Sign Up
Dating Is A Numbers Game
The more men you have contact with, the better your chances are in making a good choice for a mate. The more men you meet the more you can refine what you are looking for in a husband. You may date a tall and handsome man, but find that he is not that pleasant of a person. You might learn from that experience that while looks may be important, a pleasant personality is critical. The more you date, the more you learn and the more likely you are going to appreciate the right man when you meet him.
It Is All About Marketing
Dating is all about marketing. You have a wonderful product to sell, a lifetime of love with you. You canít sell a product that no one knows is available. You have to let people know that you are out there and what you have to offer. You need exposure. You need to get your face out there and you need to be a little immodest. What is great about you? What can you bring to a relationship? What are your best features? What is attractive about you? eHarmony is a great way to market yourself to a wide range of men that you probably would never meet otherwise.
eHarmony Is A Time Investment
As wonderful as eHarmony is, if you take it seriously, it can be a significant time commitment. You will probably be e-mailing and talking on the phone for a while before you ever meet a man face to face. You will invest time in someone that ends up not being right for you. From time to time, you will be left waiting for a response from a match that never comes. At other times, eHarmony may not be sending you many matches that you find interesting. Not every match is going to work out like you may hope, but invest your time and energy in the process. Your reward just might be a wonderful man that you can share your life with.
Be Ready For Some Rejection
If you join eHarmony, you should be ready for some disappointments and rejection. You pay eHarmony to suggest potential matches and help facilitate communication. Not every match is going to be the man of your dreams. Not every match is going to find you to be the woman of his dreams. Over time, you may be matched with 100 men. You may reject 40% of them, 40% may reject you and you may have some level of communication with the other 20%. In the end, all of them will fail with hopefully one exception. In the end you hope to find a kind and thoughtful man that will love you for who you are, enjoy your company and miss you when you are away. It only takes one. If you do find that one person, it is likely going to be after a significant amount of time sorting through your matches, time spent answering questions, some phone calls, some bad dates and some disappointments.
Share Your eHarmony Adventure With A Friend
I would encourage you to share your ongoing eHarmony experience with a good female friend. Show her what you wrote in your profile. Talk about the men that you have been matched up with. Keep her up-to-date on your triumphs and disappointments. She will be a good sounding board for you and hopefully a source of sound advice.
What Do You Want In A Man?
Before you go to the eHarmony website to sign up, consider what you want in a man and in a relationship. Some things you probably want in a man are:
- A loving companion
- A man you can trust
- A man with similar values
- A man with similar interests
- A man that enjoys your company
- A man whose company you enjoy
- A man that makes you laugh
- A man that makes you feel safe
Be The Woman He Is Looking For
Imagine for a moment the man you hope to find at eHarmony. What would he be like? Now here is the really important question, are you a woman that would attract the man you have imagined? If you are 200 lbs. overweight, you are unlikely to attract a man that looks like Brad Pitt. To be realistic, you either need to exercise and loose weight or start giving heavier guys a chance. If you stay out late every night going to clubs, you are not in the best place to attract a nice stable family-oriented man. To be realistic, you probably should be spending more time in churches than clubs or be willing to open your heart to guys that enjoy the nightlife.
If you truly want to find love, I think you have three options:
- You already are the woman that can attract the man of your dreams. You just have to wait for him to find you.
- You will love and accept the men that are attracted to you as you are now.
- You will make the changes necessary to become the woman that will attract the man you want. Then you have to wait for him to find you.
If option 1 or 2 apply to you, eHarmony may be a place to expand your search for love. If option 3 applies to you, I think joining eHarmony now would be a waste of time and money. You will reject men that are attracted to you now and the men that you are attracted to will likely reject you. I would suggest that you not sign up for eHarmony until you have made the changes in your life that will be attractive to the man of your dreams.
Next: Signing Up With eHarmony