Open Communication In eHarmony

I would suggest that you consider composing your eHarmony e-mail messages on a text editor. It can be very frustrating to invest a lot of time on an e-mail message, only to lose your work because your eHarmony session timed out.

Giving Out Your Personal Information

One of the wonderful things about eHarmony is your ability to stay anonymous for a period of time while you consider the potential for a relationship. When you start communicating outside of eHarmony, you should be mindful of the fact that you are likely to lose that anonymity. If you give out a listed phone number, it is very easy to use that information on the Internet to find out:

  • your name
  • your approximate age
  • your address
  • past addresses
  • addresses of any property you may own
  • the name of an ex-husband
  • the names of anyone you may be living with

All that and without paying a penny! If you send someone an
e-mail that includes your last name, they can find a listed phone number, plus all the information above. Here are a few pointers on maintaining your privacy:

Don’t Give Out Your Phone Number

When it comes time to talk on the phone, let him give you his phone number.

Use *67

If you enter *67 before dialing a telephone number, it will block your information from coming up on a caller ID unit.

Use An Anonymous E-Mail Account

If you decide to e-mail each other outside the eHarmony system, be careful what e-mail address you give out. If you give out a work e-mail address, that may give away your last name and the company you work for. If you give out your home e-mail address, it may be set up to list your first and last name in the “From:” field. I would suggest you open a free Yahoo!® Mail or Hotmail® account. When you fill out the e-mail account application, don’t provide your correct last name. Type in something descriptive in the last name field such as “The Romantic”. If your name is Jane, your e-mail will show as from “Jane The Romantic”.

If He Is Happy To Just E-Mail You For Months

Needless to say there is a limit to everyone’s patience. You did not join eHarmony to be someone’s pen pal. You can have a reasonable expectation that the relationship with your match should develop with time. If a man you are matched with isn’t interested in seeing the relationship progress, I would take that as a warning sign. Your ultimate goal is to transition from an online relationship to a face-to-face relationship. If you don’t see that happening in a reasonable amount of time, you probably should move on. I would tell him that it was nice to get to know him, but the relationship does not seem to be progressing and it is important to you to find someone to share your life with in the real world.